TFtD Cast Every story needs characters. And believe me, this lot is a bunch of real characters.

Player Characters (PCs)

A_Judas_Rimmer AKA Rimmi

Rimmer is a take-charge, assertive young woman who's not above performing genital mutilation to achieve her goals. In fact, she considers it to be a plus. She takes her handle from the Red Dwarf character Arnold Rimmer, and has an "H" on her forehead as a nod to him. She is often seen with Cave Rimmer (a Xena-like, alternate-dimensional version of herself, and Mrs. Hargrove (a chain-smoking cigarette hag from the MSTed movie "The Deadly Bees"). Rimmer is fun-loving, and can get quite silly when she wants to. At one point, she competed with Lita for Evil Mike's affections, but she now insists that she has moved on. She is an avid fan of Vampire-Based Programming.

Carmelita9000 AKA Lita

Lita is a charming, carefree young woman, except when she's defending her Queen Bitch crown. At those times she becomes cruel, devious, hostile, and very mood-swingy. But in a winsome, charming way. For some unknown reason, Lita at one time had 9000 clones made of herself (yes, 9000. The numeration ends with 9001.), most of which are alive and well, though according to Lita they're all inferior to her in one way or another. Lita has an *ahem* very close relationship with her henchman Evil Mike, who is an evil version of MST3K's Mike Nelson. Lita has a deep and abiding love for her ceramic cow, which is currently inhabited by the spirit of a British nobleman. Lita drives a giant spider car named Spidey (from the MSTed movie "Giant Spider Invasion". She is also an avid fan of Vampire-Based Programming.

PharaohMobius AKA PM

Pharaoh Mobius takes his handle from a villain from the Torg RPG. As such, he is a self-styled Pulp Villain (that is, a villain that might be found in old pulp stories like Doc Savage and Flash Gordon). He is in charge of a vast criminal empire, and has many henchmen and associates. His most notable associates are Nefertiti Mobius (aka Mrs. Mo), Nabut Al-Nathoth (his fellow Egyptian and right-hand man), Rick the bartender (from the MSTed movie "Overdrawn at the Memory Bank"), Sam Casey and Buffalo Bill (from the MSTed movie "Riding With Death"), and Nick (from the MSTed movie "Time Chasers"). Though his Inclination is decidedly Evil, he tends to be basically a nice guy, which earns him derision from time to time. He is also a fan of Vampire-Based Programming.

MickeyTheGardener AKA Mickey

Nice Guy and the Time/Space Expert (due to his getting out of phase with the other Duh users from time to time). He derives his handle from a character in the MSTed movie "The Screaming Skull." His lone henchman is Ortega from the MSTed movie "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies." He tries to be friendly and helpful to everyone, though he doesn't always succeed. Mickey is bravely battling a soup addiction, though not particularly successfully. He is not yet a fan of Vampire-Based Programming, but is learning to be one at the urgings of Lita and Rimmi.

tork_110 AKA Tork

Tork takes his handle from the MSTed movie "Robot Hollocaust," which is ostensibly why he dresses in a robot costume. Because it's hard to breathe in that mask, he usually keeps it pulled up on top of his head. Tork always means well, but he usually finds a way to make somebody mad, and that somebody is usually Rimmer or Lita. Tork also tends to have trouble with women. He has a strong crush on Nuveena from the MSTed short "Design For Dreaming", though she doesn't return his affections. He tried to acquire a mail-order bride, but turned her away when he found out his betrothed was (the 13-year-old) Nastinka from the MSTed movie "Jack Frost." Tork is also plagued with the sadistic affections of the vampire Sunday (from Vampre-Based Programming), who enjoys beating him up at every opportunity. As a result, Tork is not a fan of Vampire-Based Programming.

Grandmapa AKA Gramps, Grampie

Grandmapa is a surly, often drunk, half-crazed fourteen-year-old who dresses up as a transsexual senior citizen (presumably so he won't get carded in bars). He has no henchmen, though he has been seen from time to time with Grandma Goo (from Gumby). Gramps has a magical walker that can cause amazing things to happen when he waves it in the air. He also speaks in a general sort of "old coot" dialect that changes faster and more often than Michael Jackson changes outfits in concert. He is not a fan of Vampire-Based Programming.

	Wurwolf AKA Wurwolf
	Wurwolf is a hard-drinking, hard-living gal who curses more than a Turkish sailor with Tourettes syndrome. She covets Lita's ceramic cow, and the cow would love to stay with her if Lita would allow it (which she won't). Wurwolf is in love with Schmoe, and is fairly apathetic toward Vampire-Based Programming.

	Dumbschmoe AKA Schmoe
	Schmoe is Wurwolf's bette-- well, her other half. =) He drinks and swears as much as she does, and is a Pop-culture expert. He loves to read comic books, he loves to create alternate handles that play off of his name, and he loves Wurwolf. He doesn't care much about Vampire-Based Programming.

	Manosgirl AKA MG
	Manosgirl is a friend to all. She likes to dance and drink with her friends, and she is always willing to lend a sympathetic ear. She takes her handle from the MSTed movie "Manos: the Hands of Fate", and her henchwomen (the Women of Manos) come from that movie as well. Manosgirl is a fan of Vampire-Based Programming.

ServoTheGreat AKA STG

ServoTheGreat takes his handle from Tom Servo of MST3K and his own delusions of grandeur. He wants to try to fit in with the rest of the Duh crew, but finds that they like to give him a hard time because of the trouble he caused when he first started out there (inclucing the infamous "Servo The Dictator War". Still, he's not really a bad guy when he stops trying so hard. STG is not a fan of Vampire-Based Programming.

TABLE> LinkyDragonclaw AKA Linky Linky is a friend of PM's from the IanComix board. She's not a regular cast member, but wanted to guest star in an episode of TFTD anyway. And so, she did! =)

Non-Player Characters (NPCs)

Lord Kinsey Figgybottom AKA LKF, Cow

LKFC's origins are quite odd. Originally, he was a stereotypical english nobleman whom PM kidnapped, killed, mummified, and put into a sarcophagus for no good reason other than PM is a Pulp Villain and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Rimmer thought it would be a good idea to use Figgybottom in a revenge plan against PM, and through a long and contrived series of events his spirit ended up trapped in a small, ceramic cow that Lita kept on her computer monitor. Embittered by the bizarre circumstances of his afterlife, LKF the cow is a surly misanthrope who hates anyone and everyone, but especially Lita (who obliviously goes on loving "her ceramic cow"). No matter how desperately he tries, his path seems inextricably intertwined with Lita's.

Evil Mike AKA EM

Evil Mike is Lita's henchman. He is an evil alternate-universe version of MST3K's Mike Nelson (taken from the host segments of episode 611, "Last of the Wild Horses." Evil Mike is ill-tempered and likes to drink, fight, womanize, and punch Mickey and Tork a lot. He also has a penchant for sending swarms of small animals strapped with explosives to blow up buildings, though he always forgets not to sabotage his plans by calling ahead to warn everyone first. Still, for some reason Lita likes him a lot and keeps him around. That reason probably has a lot to do with the other thing he likes to do a lot. Evil Mike is the only NPC who seems to notice when people refer to him as an NPC, or to "Real Life". He doesn't quite understand that he's a fictional RP character.

	Carmelita42 AKA 42, Lita42
	Lita42 is probably the most level-headed of all of Lita's 9000 clones. In fact, she seems even more level-headed than Lita sometimes (especially when it comes to Evil Mike). On the down side, she is not as fun-loving or creative as Lita9000.

	Carmelita6969 AKA 6969, Lita6969
	Lita6969 is one of the more *ahem* "amorous" of Lita's clones. She is a major flirt, and has been associated with many of the guys in the RP at one time or another. Though she can be a bit silly, she isn't as clueless as she may appear. She genuinely likes people, and is quite friendly in a Platonic sense, as well.

	Sunday12 AKA Sunday
	Sunday is a character from Vampire-Based Programming that Rimmi liked so much, she brought her in as an NPC. Given that Sunday is a ruthless, domineering, psychotic super-bitch of a vampire, that may not have been the best of ideas. She doesn't get along particularly well with anyone, though she seems to tolerate Rimmi better than most other people. Sunday particularly likes to pick on Tork.

TABLE> Rick Blaine AKA Rick Rick is not, in fact, the Humphrey Bogart character from "Cassablanca". He is actually the character from the "Casablanca"-inspried parts of the MSTed movie "Overdrawn at the Memory Bank", who was played by Raul Julia. Confused? Good! Anyway, Rick is the bartender at PM's bar, MSTBlanca.